Therapy for Narcissistic Abuse and Coercive Control
For adults recovering from narcissistic abuse or coercive control who are struggling with self-doubt, confusion, and loss of trust in themselves
In-person in Scottsdale, Arizona • Online therapy throughout Arizona, California, Massachusetts, New Jersey and Texas
You question your memories. You replay conversations. You second-guess yourself. You wonder if you're the problem.
You can learn to trust yourself again.
Narcissistic abuse and coercive control can be difficult to recognize while you're living through them. The pattern often develops gradually. You may find yourself explaining yourself more, questioning your memory, monitoring someone else's reactions, or wondering whether you're the one causing the problems.
Even after the relationship ends, you may still replay conversations, second-guess your decisions, feel guilty for having needs, or question whether your experience was really as serious as it felt.
If you’re here, you may be wondering:
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“Was this actually abuse, or am I overreacting and being unfair?”
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“Why do I still feel confused, guilty, or on edge even after the relationship ended?”
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“How do I trust myself again when I still don't know whether I can trust my own interpretation of what happened?”
Why These Relationships Leave You Questioning Yourself
Narcissistic abuse and coercive control can gradually teach you to distrust your own perceptions. You may begin by questioning one conversation or one decision. Over time, you may find yourself looking to the other person to determine what happened, whether you're allowed to be upset, or whether your needs are reasonable.
You spend less time asking what you think or feel and more time trying to anticipate someone else's reactions.
You may recognize some of these patterns:
• Cycles of idealization followed by criticism, withdrawal, or punishment
• Conditional care or affection that depends on compliance
• Chronic blame-shifting or projection of responsibility
• Emotional punishment through silence, withdrawal, or threats of abandonment
Signs You May No Longer Trust Yourself
You may notice that you:
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stop trusting your own memory
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second-guess decisions you previously would have made confidently
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need reassurance from others that you're not overreacting
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apologize constantly
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replay conversations looking for what you missed
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become afraid of making the wrong decision without reassurance
These changes can look like anxiety or low self-esteem, but they may also reflect what happens when you've spent a long time being told, directly or indirectly, that your perceptions, feelings, or needs cannot be trusted.
Why the Effects Can Continue After the Relationship Ends
Leaving the relationship does not necessarily end its psychological effects. You may still experience:
• Chronic self-doubt or second-guessing
• Difficulty setting or holding boundaries without guilt or fear
• Emotional shutdown or numbness
• Hypervigilance in close relationships
• A persistent sense of responsibility for others’ emotions
• A lingering feeling that something is wrong even when life appears stable
These responses are not character flaws. They can develop when you have spent a long time adapting to an unpredictable or controlling relationship. What once helped you manage the relationship can continue long after the relationship ends.
You don't have to be certain that your relationship was narcissistic or coercively controlling before therapy can help. You may simply know that you don't trust yourself the way you used to, that you're constantly second-guessing yourself, or that you're still affected by the relationship long after it ended.
How Therapy for Narcissistic Abuse and Coercive Control Can Help
Therapy is not about convincing you to forgive, forget, or simply cope better. It's about helping you understand what happened, reduce the self-doubt, shame, and self-blame that developed around it, and rebuild trust in your own perceptions, needs, boundaries, and judgment.
The work is paced, collaborative, and grounded in safety. The focus is on:
• Rebuilding trust in your own perceptions and decision-making
• Reducing internalized shame and self-blame shaped by manipulation
• Developing boundaries that feel protective rather than frightening
• Processing the emotional impact of the abuse in a way that supports nervous system regulation rather than overwhelm
About the Author
Inbal Gurari, LCSW, is a trauma therapist specializing in the effects of emotionally unsafe relationships, including narcissistic abuse and coercive control. Her work focuses on helping adults rebuild trust in their own perceptions, emotions, boundaries, and judgment after relationships that left them questioning themselves.
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